Number Two...in more ways than one.

Oops! In my haste to make up for my lack of updating, I forgot to wish everyone a Happy New Year! Sorry! Well....Slappy Poo Beer. Yeah, that works.

Anyway...I have been doing some leisurely thinking (what, you didn't notice that gust of wind?) and my former manager crossed my mind. You remember my nemesis PITA, don't you? If not he graces his presence here, here, and here.

My deal with PITA is this...he is second in command, and he acts like he is the Pope, the King, and the Sheriff. Some shining examples include:

*"Do you think I pay you to _____?" Hmm...that's a thinker. I think I'm going to go with......no. Yeah. My answer is no, because you didn't pay me, and you've never paid me. Until your signature is on my checks, you can get fucked.

*"This is my store." "It's my store." No, and no. Your name is not on the business license, nor is it on the deed. The operator's name isn't even on the deed, he rents the place from the corporation, who owns the store.

*"I'm the boss!" Yes, PITA said this frequently and vocally. To me, it sounds like a 3-year-old who doesn't want to share his toys. "I'm the boss! It's miiiiiiiiiiiiine!" Yes, PITA is an option for a boss, but I could always go over his head. Way over his head. He is not "the boss." If he were, he wouldn't be constantly chewed out by his boss, the operator!

*He wears company-logo attire, even while off the clock. NERD!

*If I ever dared to say that another restaurant's food is better than the food at the restaurant at which he works, I would be asking for the Lecture from Hell. "Their food is garbage, SD." "How can you not like chicken, SD?" "Actually, I think our shakes are better, SD." He would rather eat his restaurant's food than his own mother's cooking. If this isn't a company man, I don't know what is!

I think it's pretty pitiful to act high and mighty when you're only second-in-command of a fucking restaurant. He acts like an executive of a successful corporation, when in reality, these executives are laughing at/pitying him. Oh, and I will take a moment to hit below the belt: he just turned 24, and he has a glaring bald spot. Not only that, he has ginger hair, freckles, a noticeable lisp, and a pumpkin-shaped head. Not a good combo for someone who is balding. I wish I had taken the opportunity to make fun of him for it to his face, but I had to be a little tactful. But now, well, it's just fucking hilarious! Hey, PITA! You drive around in your daddy's Infiniti and spend money you don't have; why not buy some Rogaine and get a bang out of life?