35 minutes...or you're fired!

Why did I put this .jpg here? Meh, I felt like it.

Anyway....I didn't think my job could be any more ridiculous. What? I didn't!

It was a very slow night, so I was milling around, doing menial chores...I was that bored. All of a sudden, my dork manager is in front of me, informing me of some new rule. I silently sigh, expecting to hear something ridiculous.

"Okay, what's the new rule?" I ask.

"All employees are now mandated to take 35-minute breaks," the manager explains. "If you take a break that is less than 35 minutes, that puts you in a terminable position."

I didn't think I heard him correctly.

"Wait....what?"

"Your break has to be 35 minutes, no less. If you take a break that is less than 35 minutes, you can lose your job."

*Blink*

"We really like you a lot, SD," the manager says with pleading eyes, "Please don't put yourself in this position."

I, still in disbelief, press on: "What if we take 30-minute breaks, right down to the minute?"

"If your break is less than 35 minutes, then that is the factor that can cost you your job."

"Okay," I say, still in shock, "What happens if we go over 35 minutes, say, 37 minutes?"

The manager repeats, "If your break is under 35 minutes, you get fired."

I manage to stand there before uttering, "Umm....thanks for letting me know."

"Hey, my pleasure," the manager says before making his "new rule" speech to other employees.

After two minutes, while the manager is updating the rest of the crew, I go up to him, trying my hardest not to laugh, and say, "Hold on, Manager. This has to be a joke." The manager looks at me with the most serious face I've ever seen and says, "SD, look at my face." Gee, do I have to? "I am not laughing. This is serious." I start to lose my resolve, and while I unsuccessfully try to hide my smirk, I say, "This is the most backwards thing I have ever heard!" Now the manager was starting to get impatient. He says my name with a stonier look and an even stonier voice, as if he's about to lecture me. I interrupt him and say, "No, no, no---I understand that rules are rules. It's just that I've never been in trouble for being early." "All right," the manager says, desperate to get away from me, "as long as you understand."

The reason that the owner of my workplace is mandating 35-minute breaks is to keep the Department of Labor satisfied. In the past, employees have been miscalculating their break times, coming back 29 minutes early. Technically, this is illegal by DOL standards. The owner wants to make sure that all employees abide by the rules so his business is safe, and that is completely understandable.

What is not understandable, however, is the immediate firing of anyone who goes under 35 minutes. I could agree with progressive discipline (verbal warning, written warning, suspension, termination), but not outright termination. Basically, if someone loses track of the time, and if they clock in just a few seconds shy of 35 minutes (because our clocks only record minutes, not seconds), that person is at risk of losing their livelihood. It's kind of extreme, in my opinion.

Plus, employees lose money from it. Let's just say a full-time employee (like me) works 5 days a week, and takes one 35-minute break a day. Compared to the previous 30-minute mandated break, that's an extra 25 minutes a week, and an extra 50 minutes every pay cycle. So I'm losing close to an hour's pay on each paycheck. It may not seem like much, but it does add up. That's money that I could be putting in my gas tank, money that I could use to buy groceries, or money that I could use for my own personal benefit.

So...yeah. Never a dull moment here; every time I think this place couldn't be any more silly, they always surprise me!