Waffle House is KING!!!

You think I'm lying? I'm not! Waffle House has to be one of the greatest restaurants ever!

Yeah, yeah, I know. "SD! But...you're a liberal! You're a vegetarian! How could you?!"

Now, now....settle down, my children. I have not turned conservative (fuck no!), nor have I started eating meat again. Here, I will list the magnificent joys of this...this...HEAVEN! (And when you see why I love this place, you will, too!)

*The waffles are out of this world. They're soft, slightly sweet, and melt in your mouth. Best ever. Nobody even comes close. IHOP, you say? Fuck IHOP! Pancakes are lame, anyway!

*They're open 24 hours! Yeah, your beloved IHOP is also open 24/7 (in most places). But let's be real. If you need a 3 am dinner, or if you've just enjoyed a night of partying, what's the first place you think of going? Waffle House! Again...fuck IHOP and everyone who likes IHOP.

*It's cozy! You come in, you sit your ass down, and you chillax. Oh! Oh..you don't get to chillax at IHOP? You have to wait a million years for the disinterested hostess to seat you? Awww. Only a few booths at Waffle House, which means that the staff is able to be more attentive to your wants and needs? IHOP? Hey, forget about it!

*The HASHBROWNS! With it's smothered, covered, diced, peppered, capped goodness! Pure comfort food.

*The clientele! Especially in the middle of the night! The drunks and rednecks that come in and talk junk are a riot! And it almost always ends up as an altercation and/or an eviction from the restaurant by the manager. Free entertainment, you can't beat that! Really, you'd have to go to a Waffle House at 2 am to see what I mean!

*The staff! They're very nice, very hard-working people. At least to me. Bernadette at the IHOP? Did she refill your coffee without an attitude? Didn't think so.

*The sentimental value. Yes, I'll admit it. I've spent a couple of middle-of-the-night dinners at Waffle House with a special someone. It sounds weird, but I think I have more special memories at Waffle House (and other cheapy restaurants) than at the fancy, needlessly expensive places. Hell, one couple adores Waffle House so much, they did this! (Not something I would do, but hey, to each his own.)

And there you have it. Waffle House rules. If you disagree, you suck.

p.s. I don't hate IHOP. I just prefer a certain other restaurant over IHOP. You probably don't have the foggiest idea what restaurant it is, do you? Mwahaha.